You know your kid is too old to be in diapers when....
You are changing him at the mall, all the while having a two way conversation with him.

I've got nothing today. Not feeling to creative these days.

Potty Training HELL

I know its time.
I started trying a few weeks ago, I would put some shorts on Stewie without a diaper and he would complain when he felt "HOT" down there... so I knew he peed.

I thought that would entice him to tell me before hand so he could use the potty.
He's used it a few times, here and there, but not without me sitting him on it for a half hour at a time until it comes out.

Today I decided to just do the underwear, and I figured, just one time he pees and it will be all over and the next time he will tell me he wants to go on the potty before he wets himself again. but according to him, its alot funner to pee himself several times, get my awesome reaction, and laugh about it.

I know its basically only day 1 in the official race to potty train my 2 1/2 year old son. But this ONE day has basically driven me to want to run away. How do you mothers do it? He peed on the coffee table twice, the rug once, then sat on the potty til i got more underwear, then peed when he stood up.....

Its like its a little ha ha joke to him.
But hes gonna be 3 in November. Most boys are trained by now right? Or am I doing this all wrong? One friend says Im not trying hard enough, one says let him tell you when hes ready. But I ask him everyday if hes gonna use the underwear and potty today and he says "nope, diaper mama!"
I had to actually force it today, and all I get in return, is spot shot all over myself and the carpet, a pissy windexed coffee table, a load of laundry, and a HAPPY DIAPERED child, oh and my headache...
Did I mention my husband just called and said he wouldnt be home til almost 7 tonight?

sigh.....

Is it OK that he's two and....

Stewie refuses to be potty trained, although he LOVES running around holding his underwear.

He's two and a half, and still needs bodily contact until he falls asleep for naps and bedtime.

He can't eat cereal with milk, it has to be dry.. or else the milk would end up on his head....

Around other babies, hes gotta be holding on to me, just in case they get too close or try and touch him. (He was never as curious as other babies are about other babies)

He's my permanent wedgie, when Daddy isnt around.

I get lots of "Jen he will be 10 and you will still be feeding him. He will still hide behind you around strangers. He will still need to hold mommy's hand to fall asleep."

If I wasnt having another unplanned baby so soon, none of this would be weighing on me so heavily. But now Im starting to wonder. Is my son too much of a baby, for me to be having another one in August?

Is he going to be ok?

Emotions

Ive always been loud and one to express my every emotion to anyone who would listen.
Ive always been emotional in every way.

Except, I dont believe quite so much now that I am in my third trimester of pregnancy with this baby.
I cant even watch my soaps without crying during about half of each one. My son thinks Im going insane.
Other than the constant tears, I get angry worse than before. Which is bad enough because Ive always been the disciplinarian in my family when it comes to my son.

You would think Stewie would be scared outta his mind of me lately, but I think he likes getting getting me over excited. I think he likes it waaaaaay too much.

Party in the Park

Yesterday we went to my best friend's daughter's third birthday party.

It was a beautiful day in the park and the kids got to plant their own flowers in little pots.

Very cute.

I got her daughter a Disney Princess dance pad thingie. I hope she likes it. Shes very into princess stuff. She IS a princess. Very calm quiet and ladylike little girl. My daughter will not be like that. I am not a calm, quiet, ladylike mama. Thats usually what it takes right??

Its probably my own fault my son is loud, obnoxious, and kinda mean. I scream more than he does!!!

Well yesterday was my first day sporting my new blondish (ok orange) hair... I am thinkin I will change it in a few days, but everyone says they like it.. I think they are being nice.....

27 Weeks

I feel her all the time. It doesnt matter what Im doing, shes moving.
Sometimes after one of her quick naps I feel her stretching. Like one part of her is touching up here and the other down there.

I never felt Stewie move quite this much.
Maybe because I quit all my anti depressants with this pregnancy.

I dont know why I did that. I really resented being pregnant again from the start. We used protection every single time. I hated being pregnant the first time, and this time I had morning sickness until about 4 weeks ago.

Shes so real to me now. It scares me. Until recently I still called her "it" even though Ive known it was a girl for months.
I go through all the baby clothes I get from friends and family and it makes me cry. Not because Im happy. I dont know when or if that will come. I cry because its too much. Too real. I already have my baby.

Pure, Unabashed, CRAZINESS

Today started out brilliant. Woke up at 8:30, drank some tea, watched some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Easy enough.
Went to my absolutely wonderful friend's house, because she had some shoes for me to take on my trip, and had to help me learn how to appy makup. (im only 25, you think i know this stuff??)

Back at home is when it started.
My Stewie decided it was Daddy time. Hmmm lets see.. around 11am, we really shouldnt be thinking about Daddy. We should really think about lunch. I took out my half of a subway grinder (sub, hogie, whatever you weirdos call it) cut it in half and began to eat mine. Stewie took one small punie bite, got down, and headed for the door. "I go outside mama"
No dear Im eating, can you wait??? Of course not. The screaming and crying begins.

This is where my friend's voice appears in my head "Jen YOU are the mommy, take control, you are the boss."
Why is that so hard for me? Its not like Im a good mom and I hate hearing my son cry. Maybe its those darn pregnancy hormones or something.
Anyway, we go outside for a few minutes. Check the mail, walk around... I yell when he sits in a pile of broken glass and picks some up, I yell when he stops to "play with the red ants"
Finally I have enough and we go kicking and screaming back into the house.
I have no gas, so we couldnt go for a drive. Now driving is the only thing that puts my kid to sleep now that the paci fairy has come and taken the beloved (by us BOTH) paci to new babies who need it.

So after some crying and rubbing our eyes, I say lets go play in your room. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is my answer. But hes tired, Im tired, and as long as we just play in there with the lights off for a little while it should recharge us both.

Well as soon as the door shuts behind us, Stewie is laying at the bottom of it, loooking under the doorway, screaming for daddy. Kicking the door yelling at me SCREAMING for daddy.
I say "sweetie, daddy is working and we will see him when he gets home." THAT ALWAYS WORKS. Not today.
I drag my son to the rocker, sit him on my lap, rock, sing, try to hang on as he screams kicks hits and tries to get down and make a run for the door.
So I lay on his bed, which used to intice him to lay with me, play with my hair,talk to me... nice stuff like that, until he fell asleep.
He got on the bed. Kicked me and kicked and kicked and said GET IN THE ROCKING CHAIR MAMA.
Ugh..... so about 2 hours of up and down and screaming for daddy and crying from us both I finally take him down to eye level and say listen (as if he really cared at this point) "mommy is very tired. You are very tired. Lets go sit on the couch and watch tv. You dont talk to me for a little while, just eat a snack and leave me alone while I calm down." "OK mama" Thats the reply I get whether he's lying or not, but I took it.

Well a few minutes on the couch and he wanted not his juice, but MY soda from the fridge. No you have your juice, drink that.
I WANT DADDY. SEE DADDY. WHERES DADDY. then the sobbing comes back. This time from us both.
I call up hubby and I am in sobbing mode and he can barely understand me. I tell him that Im about to kill myself if he doesnt say something to this kid to make him shut up.
So I put him on speaker so he could tell Stewie that he'd be home soon and to just behave for a little while longer. This resulted in a "DADDY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
Hubby tells me to take our LAST $10 get some gas, and drive until Stewie falls asleep.
I do, and as soon as I leave the driveway hes sleeping.
Of course I get to the gas station, and I go over a curb, not once but twice, because my eyes are soooooo tired from crying, I pump my gas, forget to shut my gas cap, drive off, stop at the stop sign to get out and shut it, look both ways, go, and almost slam on to oncoming traffic that was NOT there before I looked.
Mommy needed a nap.
I took Sleeping Beauty to the airport lookout, so I could drink my soda, and let him sleep for as long as I could.
I pull in, stop the car, DONT EVEN SHUT IT OFF, when he wakes up from a DEAD sleep and screams "WHERES DADDY, sob sob I WANT DADDY"
So off we go again, and hes out like a light again. I just cant stop anymore. So we drove around for an hour and a half until I knew hubby was home.
Im so exhausted. I swear I have the most understandable husband in the world. He came home, took Stewie outside (after i explained and cried a little more) and now they are spraying for bees or something.
Im seriously considering reinstating the PACI for naps. That would lead to bedtime too. But is that a risk I am willing to take? I dont know, but Im leaning towards yes, just to have SOME piece of mine.
What do you think? Im nuts... Im nuts is what you think.
Theres a little more I need to complain about one more thing Pregnancy PILLOWS. but ill save that for a post later... when i calm down... ugggghghghghghghgh