Pure, Unabashed, CRAZINESS

Today started out brilliant. Woke up at 8:30, drank some tea, watched some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Easy enough.
Went to my absolutely wonderful friend's house, because she had some shoes for me to take on my trip, and had to help me learn how to appy makup. (im only 25, you think i know this stuff??)

Back at home is when it started.
My Stewie decided it was Daddy time. Hmmm lets see.. around 11am, we really shouldnt be thinking about Daddy. We should really think about lunch. I took out my half of a subway grinder (sub, hogie, whatever you weirdos call it) cut it in half and began to eat mine. Stewie took one small punie bite, got down, and headed for the door. "I go outside mama"
No dear Im eating, can you wait??? Of course not. The screaming and crying begins.

This is where my friend's voice appears in my head "Jen YOU are the mommy, take control, you are the boss."
Why is that so hard for me? Its not like Im a good mom and I hate hearing my son cry. Maybe its those darn pregnancy hormones or something.
Anyway, we go outside for a few minutes. Check the mail, walk around... I yell when he sits in a pile of broken glass and picks some up, I yell when he stops to "play with the red ants"
Finally I have enough and we go kicking and screaming back into the house.
I have no gas, so we couldnt go for a drive. Now driving is the only thing that puts my kid to sleep now that the paci fairy has come and taken the beloved (by us BOTH) paci to new babies who need it.

So after some crying and rubbing our eyes, I say lets go play in your room. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is my answer. But hes tired, Im tired, and as long as we just play in there with the lights off for a little while it should recharge us both.

Well as soon as the door shuts behind us, Stewie is laying at the bottom of it, loooking under the doorway, screaming for daddy. Kicking the door yelling at me SCREAMING for daddy.
I say "sweetie, daddy is working and we will see him when he gets home." THAT ALWAYS WORKS. Not today.
I drag my son to the rocker, sit him on my lap, rock, sing, try to hang on as he screams kicks hits and tries to get down and make a run for the door.
So I lay on his bed, which used to intice him to lay with me, play with my hair,talk to me... nice stuff like that, until he fell asleep.
He got on the bed. Kicked me and kicked and kicked and said GET IN THE ROCKING CHAIR MAMA.
Ugh..... so about 2 hours of up and down and screaming for daddy and crying from us both I finally take him down to eye level and say listen (as if he really cared at this point) "mommy is very tired. You are very tired. Lets go sit on the couch and watch tv. You dont talk to me for a little while, just eat a snack and leave me alone while I calm down." "OK mama" Thats the reply I get whether he's lying or not, but I took it.

Well a few minutes on the couch and he wanted not his juice, but MY soda from the fridge. No you have your juice, drink that.
I WANT DADDY. SEE DADDY. WHERES DADDY. then the sobbing comes back. This time from us both.
I call up hubby and I am in sobbing mode and he can barely understand me. I tell him that Im about to kill myself if he doesnt say something to this kid to make him shut up.
So I put him on speaker so he could tell Stewie that he'd be home soon and to just behave for a little while longer. This resulted in a "DADDY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
Hubby tells me to take our LAST $10 get some gas, and drive until Stewie falls asleep.
I do, and as soon as I leave the driveway hes sleeping.
Of course I get to the gas station, and I go over a curb, not once but twice, because my eyes are soooooo tired from crying, I pump my gas, forget to shut my gas cap, drive off, stop at the stop sign to get out and shut it, look both ways, go, and almost slam on to oncoming traffic that was NOT there before I looked.
Mommy needed a nap.
I took Sleeping Beauty to the airport lookout, so I could drink my soda, and let him sleep for as long as I could.
I pull in, stop the car, DONT EVEN SHUT IT OFF, when he wakes up from a DEAD sleep and screams "WHERES DADDY, sob sob I WANT DADDY"
So off we go again, and hes out like a light again. I just cant stop anymore. So we drove around for an hour and a half until I knew hubby was home.
Im so exhausted. I swear I have the most understandable husband in the world. He came home, took Stewie outside (after i explained and cried a little more) and now they are spraying for bees or something.
Im seriously considering reinstating the PACI for naps. That would lead to bedtime too. But is that a risk I am willing to take? I dont know, but Im leaning towards yes, just to have SOME piece of mine.
What do you think? Im nuts... Im nuts is what you think.
Theres a little more I need to complain about one more thing Pregnancy PILLOWS. but ill save that for a post later... when i calm down... ugggghghghghghghgh