Bumpy Night

OOOOOOhhhh my poor baby. Last night Stewie was cruising around holding on to his baby gate when all of a sudden he trips and his head lays right into the bars.
I thought he hit his face, and since he wasnt bleeding or showing any signs of injury, we figured everything was ok.
So at supper time, Daddy was feeding him and I sat down on the other side of him, and there it was, the biggest grossest bump I have ever seen, right there on the side of my baby son's head.
I almost threw up. His first real bump. It was sooooo much harder for me than it was for him. Looking at it gave me a horrible headache and I quickly gave him some motrin before he got one.

Earlier in the day, Stewie had the runs again. Well he was at the window staning up looking at the trees (this is how he likes to take his dumps) doing his grunting, and I see this stain start peeking through his jammies. It wasnt big, so I let him finish before carefully peeling them off. They were covered in runny stinky horrible baby poop. So I took them off, and his whole back and side were covered too.
I didnt know what to do, I just ran to my bathroom, turned on the shower, threw him in the sink to take off the diaper and socks and then held him under the shower. He let out the most blood curdling scream of his life, and kept going! The water wasnt even that cold..... but I kept rinsing him off until he was clean.. then I wrapped him in my towel and took him to get a new diaper on. Somehow more shit got on the towel, which got on me and my clothes... or was it the other way around? Anyway, I put my screaming kid in his crib, threw his outfit in the trash, turned off my shower, and cleaned my stinky sink.
After all that he still only took a half hour nap... ugh...
I was ready for bed!
Hunny was all set to do yard work when he came home, until he heard about my day, so he said he'd wait and take the baby off my hands. That was awesome until the baby went boom. So can I blame the bump on Hunny?
Sure.

My ear infection cleared up, now my other ear has started throbbing. I have no more antibiotics. Somebody please hit me for being so OCD about picking at myself... grrrrrrrrrrrr.