depression, heartache, babies, toddlers, and nipples

Well so far its been the roughest two weeks we could possibly have thought up.

My husband gets laid off two fridays ago. The very next day, as he is at his parents house, his mother's kidneys fail and she is rushed to the hospital right in front of my Stewie.

Now the next week as the doctors say shes not going to make it, I have a total breakdown from postpartum depression. It could not haven been a worse time with my husband back and forth from the hospital, but watching the kids all day long was putting such a strain on me that I literally wanted to either kill them, myself, or run away.

So my mom decided to take me to her house for a week to just get away from everything.

Well that lasted a day, as my husband calls up and says his mom is going to be put in hospice and wont make it a few more days.
So the hour long trip back home began.

The good thing is hes been taking Stewie with him so I only have to deal with the baby. Plus his sister from Indiana is staying with us and Stewie just loves to follow her around so it gives me a huge break.

The baby has decided she doesnt like ANY type of bottle or nipple we give her. Shes taken to the gerber nuk nipples as they are more like breasts, but has decided they are too fast or too slow. nothing in between for this kid. she will either get pissed cuz its too slow. so i give her a faster one. CHOKES, and gets pissed cuz its too fast.

Besides hating meal times, we also hate nap times as well. She would much rather be up watching tv or just being held. Doesnt really like her toys yet.
I have a mei tai which I use while shes sleeping. She hates it when shes awake but its a lifesavor when she doesnt want me to lay her down. Id love to get a moby wrap but those things are way more expensive than a wife of a laid off worker can afford. And making one myself thats a JOKE.

Ah lets see if theres anything else to complain about.
Well hubby's mom has proved all the doctors wrong. She will soon be moved to a nursing home to get the proper physical therapy she needs. Shes still got a lot of fluid on her belly that may go away but will never stop coming because of her failed organs. Its very sad but I hope we get alot more time with her. I am not close with her but very much hoping i can get over my shyness and try.

At church on sunday so many people gave us baby gifts, it was wonderful. I dont know how i will begin to thank everyone. One couple even gave us a $100 certificate to walmart which we happily used for groceries today.
That couple is getting a huge hug on Sunday.

I must go attend to the screamer who ive now named "Bunny"

Hope to talk soon.