5th trimester?

You know how some babies need that 4th trimester because they are so little and crabby? So you swaddle and pacify and all that. Well I have come to realize that my son has entered his 5th trimester. He wasnt ready when he came out, and hes not ready now.

For the past few weeks I havent been swaddling him. We started feeding him fruit and rice cereal. He started laughing and cooing. But all of a sudden we hit a bump in the road. He's a moody little newborn again. Gas hits him like a ton of bricks. He hates taking his bottles. He cries almost every time i change him. He's not happy on his tummy time mat, his bouncy chair, playing with toys, looking at me, looking at tv, in the swing. So tonight after a day so caotic that I considered running away, I swaddled the boy.

He looked up at me and smiled, as if to say, "duh mommy, thats all i needed" I sat in the rocker and rocked him to sleep and sang to him. After he was out I just kept on rocking. Then I started crying. How could I think such horrible things as running away? Whats wrong with me that I cant figure out whats wrong with my own baby? Why could I handle a newborn and I cant handle a 5 month old? And why the HELL is Luke so friggen stupid!!! uhhhh Sorry, Gilmore Girls got the best of me tonight.