A dog in heat...

Will do anything to get some.
I dont have much to say about mommy-dum today, but Ive got a story for ya. Sorry no pics, I was laughing too much to think.
My female chiuahua has been a humper since she was probably 2 months old. One night I was sitting on the couch with her, and she got on my arm. I thought how cute, shes gonna wrestle me.
HAH
This little dog started humping the hell outta my poor arm, who by the way was a virgin until this malicious rape incedent.
I started screaming for hunny. I said "its a boy! this dog is a boy! his penis must be hidden!!!!"
But, no penis was ever found.
After that, she took to humping Hunny only. And only his arm. He would shake her off but sometimes he just had to give in so she would stop bugging him. Hed go get a certain green flannel shirt so she wouldnt claw out any arteries.
Everytime she saw him come out of the bedroom wearing that shirt, she'd hop on the couch and start jumping and panting. Sometimes she'd "hop on" before he even got to sit down.
Then at a certain point, I think after she started getting too fat, she was no longer satisfied with the arm. She started mounting feet. Which was more convenient for Hunny at least.
And after a while, it was anybody's feet. Someone she'd never seen could come over and sit down, and shed mount happily.
Now this is not only when shes in heat. She usually just humps for sport.
But after she gets her period, shes very very very horny. She even humps me. Usually she prefers the more masculine thicker leg...
Well the past few days, shes been trying to tempt our pitbull mix. Hes a big baby whos been fixed for years. Hes not used to her jumping at his face and sticking her butt in his face. He will growl and jump up and run to another room.
Today he was lying behind me in the computer room. Gwynnie trots in and starts scratching at his face. Well he was too worn out to get up and run so he just layed there. Gwynnie took it as a "green light" and started humping his pooor head. He even let her do it for about 5 minutes before hes like damnit woman get off me.
Its not easy being a little chick in heat. But its also not easy being a fixed doggy and having this little dog humping you and trying to intice you into humping her. I mean he probably doesnt even know what the hell she wants him to do. Poor thing.