my beautiful boy

Today was a better day.
Stewie was very good for us.
We had a yard sale this morning.. didnt really do great.
This afternoon I was sitting on the floor with Stewie and reading a magazine. He loves magazines cuz he can crumple them and shove them in his mouth and rip them up. So all of the sudden, the kid starts crawling like a maniac towards me. YES my kid crawls!!!!!!!!
I started screaming and crying and since I did that, I probably scared the hell out of him cuz he hasnt doesnt since!
Anyway, tonight I rocked my little man to sleep and let him sleep in my arms for a while. I almost started crying again. Sometimes I get so mad because I have to rock him and he cant just play in his crib and fall asleep.
But I havent thought about how lucky I really am. My baby has stayed literally a baby for his 10 months on this earth. Most babies start crawling around 4 months and dont want to be babied anymore.
My kid still wants to be babied, and still needs me to rock him to sleep. Now that he can crawl, it wont be long before he wants to do alot more on his own. Im going to cherish him alot more from now on.

The Difference Between Me and You

Why is it that men who arent home all day with the baby, think they know exactly what to do with the kids?
Like tonight, I did everything in my power to get Stewie to bed. I rocked him, I sang to him, I walked him around, I put him in the crib with some toys and left the room with him howling.
Then I tried rocking again. He kept squirming around and trying to get free to grab anything he could. So I called Hunny in there and said please take your kid before I kill him. He preceeds to tell me that MY kid isnt tired and that its pretty sad I say things like Im going to kill him.

But then he tries rocking him for a good 15 minutes, screaming and all, before I say "hey why dont you get him up since hes not tired?"
Then I get yelled at again because of what I said earlier.
Im sorry but when you are home all day with a cranky child and you are constantly switching anti-depressants and you are very edgy, its easy to get overwhelmed with baby duties.
And when I say "im going to kill him" sad, or not, I MEAN IT, at that moment in time. And all you need to do is calmly take him from me. Not tell me how sad it is. Not tell me how wrong I am about the situation. Just take the baby and let me be before I tell you that youre next on the list.

TT # 3

things to do before I die. Jump out of a plane! Live in Canada. Go to Europe. Adopt a child. Own a house. Go to a spa. Meet Jay Leno. (or at least shake his hand at the beginning of his show) Own a mustang. Go to school. See Stewie graduate college. Get a real career that I love. Make love in the rain. (how bout that?!) Get a psychic reading from Sylvia Brown. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Gilmore Tuesdays

Oh yes my friends, Gilmore Girls is back.
But I must say, BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHCK YOU STUPID MOTHER F-ING IDIOT WRITERS ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME KILL MYSELF?????
And what the HELL is up with the previews for next week? I dont care what the fuck the stupid announcer guy says about "new love" ok Christopher is not Lorelai's NEW love. Hes her OLD OLD OLD love and damnit all he is is a thorn in my side and needs to be killed of the damn show.
No I wont stop ranting like this is real life.. to me this IS real life. I have nothing but my kid, my fiance, and THIS STUPID show!
UGH.
And what the hell is up with Luke next week telling her that he doesnt care anymore? what the hell. what the hell.
Im sorry but these people better give me another reason to watch other than to literally sit there and blubber and huff and puff and cry the whole damn show. Cuz thats what I did from beginning to end. And damnit I didnt get one iota of pleasure out of the whole stinkin show.
I have nothing more to say. If you dont like me going on about this on tuesdays, then dont read on tuesdays.... kapish??????

Desperate Sundays

Well well. I know its been forever.

So before I sit my ass down to watch some Desperate housewives, I will catch ya up on some of Stewies new things.
First of all, he still refuses to fall asleep unless rocked, or his hand is being held. Secondly he sits up by himself now, and since he knows how, he will do it in the crib forever if you let him. So there is no falling asleep anymore. I leave the room and he screams... either I have to lay there with him and hold his ass down, or his daddy has to rock him to sleep.
He can also wave now. He started last week doing it with his whole arm, now its his hand opening and closing. But he kinda does it to himself.
But he's so cute, waving at everything now. The TV, trees, windows.... Everything but people. Well us, but not grandparents or other poeple. Hes shy lol.

Camera Fun

Does your almost toddler hate the confinement of a highchair?? Just chuck the tray, and pull him up to the table!!

dont forget to put the brakes on....

Does your chiauhua have a fear of eating alone? Let her have lunch next to the baby!

You just fed me WHAT?

I Hate Bedtime

I used to love Stewie's bedtime!!!
But now that I have to actually sit there with my arm halfway in the crib for almost an hour, its just not the same.
I used to be able to get away with turning on that toy with water that plays music that hangs on his crib, then sneaking out. Yeah he's caught on to that. And theres nothing that Ive tried distracting him with thats worked for more than 2 minutes before he screams for my hand.
It would be cute, but he literally has to examine each finger, and make them bend in different ways and talk to them, then play spit out the paci and make mommy fight me for it, then dont let her put it back in my mouth. Then we start all over. I have such a headache right now.

My mom just said its something I need to cherish since hes growing up so fast. UGH how can you cherish things like this when you are in the moment and you just want to run away??

Party Time!

Saturday night, Hunny's parents watched Stewie so we could go out for our anniversary. Well I was so pooped from having the baby all day, I said lets just go to the bookstore with the coffee place in it.
We drank, walked around, then left. He really wanted to buy me some kind of dinner, and I wasnt hungry at all. So we went to burger king and I had some fries and acoke. Oh yes. Hunny says Im definately an old mommy now. He could have done anything that night. I just wanted to go home and sleep. I really dont have the drive to go out and have a good time anymore :(

Im exhausted today. Stewie slept in our bed half the night. Ding dong kept waking up screaming for us everytime one of us got him back to sleep. So finally Im like ok Im taking him to bed. I guess he's still feeling insecure today, cuz I just put him down for a nap, and he refused to so much as lay his head down until I gave him my hand. I hate that because I hate sneaking out of his room after he falls asleep. Ok I must go clean something. Ive been so slack lately.

Thursday Thirteen #2

Thirteen Reasons We are Still Together After 5 Years

1. We are gross together
2. We tell eachother everything
3. We are best friends
4. We find eachother incredibaly attractive
5. We've cried together
6. Open about all past subjects
7. Know exactly how to get on eachothers nerves
8. Know exactly how to calm the other down
9. GREAT sex
10. We eat at the dinner table every night
11. He lets me pop his zits
12. We are completely in love
13. He's Home to me

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

"You Little Sucker"

I talked on the phone with the lady from the child developmental place today. We talked about everything Stewie could and couldnt do. And someone else is going to call me back about an evaluation.

So after that, Stewie spent the day on the floor trying to prove me wrong. He rolled and rolled and rolled all over the living room. He was trying to roll into a sitting position. Couldnt quite do it without my help. After his daddy got home, I was on the couch and they were on the floor. I was talking about the conversation I had with the lady, Stewie looked at me, grinned, and then almost did a forward crawl, then looked again and stuck his tongue out and did his raspberries at me. Like ha I can do it.
He really tries, but he ends up either rolling over, or pushing himself backwards. Or he gets mad and smashes his face into the carpet.
Right now he's dancing like a crazy man in his johnny jumper. Heres a little peek.

Water Baby

Stewie went swimmin at his friend Austin's house today. He absolutely loved being in the water and splashing and kicking his legs.



















Two words:














Flava Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!!!

So it Could Be...

Well I had a nice chatty chat with the doctor today. We came to a conclusion that Stewie should go see a muscle specialist, and she gave me the number.
She said there's tons of muscle problems out there, all those "distraphies"
I said yeah my sister had some weird muscle problem too. Didnt walk til she was three. But we just thought Stewie was being slow.
So it all makes sense, I mean if hes really got some kind of muscle problem that can be fixed with some therapy. Everything makes sense then.
Even the gassiness. I mean muscles are in there too ya know. And the not smiling til he was 5 months. The eye problems. It all adds up. Always trust your mother's instinct. You're probably right.
Now lets hope theres something we can get accomplished when I call there to make an appointment.

My First Thursday Thirteen...

Im not sure how this works exactly yet.. but Ill give it a try.... this weeks topic: 13 reasons I have a headache today.

1. Stewie doesnt like to take morning naps anymore.
2. The idiots nextdoor never fix their fence and the dogs are running wild making mine bark like crazy.
3. Im the only person here with crazy dogs and a crazy baby until usually 5pm every day.
4. I have to take Stewie for shots in the morning.
5. I want fast food for supper.
6. Because Im starving.
7. I probably didnt drink enough water today.
8. I couldnt find a hammer so I had to use a screwdriver.
9. My hair is up too tight.
10. The baby wouldnt finish his bottle so he went to bed probably hungry.
11. Cant decide which frozen meal I should eat for dinner.
12. Hunny just started laundry, like I didnt do it EVERY DAY THIS WEEK BUT TODAY!
13. I still have my period.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

S'more Teeth

Yeah the top two toofers in the middle cut today. I was thinking the sides are supposed to come first but I guess not.
Stewie doesnt like to sleep anymore unless Im sitting right there next to the crib. So before the 20 minute nap he takes everyday, I sit there and stare at the floor while he plays with his feet, blankie, lovey, paci, until he falls asleep.
THEN at night I have to do it all over again. Unless Hunny decides to do it himself, but he cheats, he rocks the boy to sleep.

Anywho, Stewie has also had another personality change in the past week. He throws fits now. Not little fits. He gets this high pitched squeal goin when I leave the room, or he cant reach something, and then it turns into an all out wail. Its even louder and worse when daddy leaves the room.
Still no sitting up from the laying position, or not pulling up from sitting. Doesnt crawl yet either. He can sort of get around by rolling, and crawling in circles.... but he doesnt use his legs just his arms. Hes probably got some problem. Which would just be awesome.
We've got our appointment in the morning for his 6 month shots. Yeah thats right 6 months. He's about 10 months old. But those idiots at the docs office like to slack on schedualing things...Whoa I spelled that wrong but you get it.
Luckily we are switching Stewie onto Hunny's insurance next week. The only problem with that is, we have no money as it is, so this is going to bleed us dry. I am so sick of scavenging around here for food its not even funny. Do you want to know what I would DO for a Whopper right about now???

Sanity over Family?

This post will be clearly not about me or my son.
I usually dont complain about family on here because I use this as a journal of my adventures in mommyhood.... (where have i heard that phrase before?)
Ive got a dilemma that I would (well wouldnt) like to share. But where else can I just get this off my chest.

My sister, lets call her Leach and her boyfriend, lets call him Toe Jam, have been living with my mother free of charge since my sister found out she was pregnant.
Now Toe Jam thought hed be all manly and take care of his "family" and get a job with my moms fiance. Which said fiance was happy to have him along.
While leach sat on her ass getting fatter, Toe Jam worked less and less and played more playstation, and talked to tons of awefully cute 14 year olds on myspace.
Now my mom and her fiance had their talks with Toe Jam about his laziness. They asked him to start picking up after himself, maybe go to work once in a while.
Which in turn he took as "attacks on him" and complained to Leach.
Leach decided long ago that my mother didnt love her and that it was her job to always buy her things and basically buy her love. Support her when she had no where to go, and mother always did.
Well anyway, today my mother had it and told Toe Jam to get out by the weekend. So Leach decides this means my mother wants her and the baby to die. She throws anything and everything she can find at my mom and her fiance then runs outside screaming "you hate me and my baby"
Now I said this little fit is just because my mom yelled at her boyfriend and her pride is hurt.
Leach was never told she had to leave, or that she wasnt loved.
These two "children" are ungreatful, lazy pieces of crap. If it wasnt for my mom feeling so responsible I would literally kill my sister.
My mother is caring and nurturing and always ready to put you up when you need to get on your feet. Thats exactly what she did for Leach and Toe. For too long.
If Leach wants to run away and live with Toe and his daddy, good for her. My mom will feel guilty and have to get over that. And sooner or later they will both get kicked out of there too. No one wants to let two ignorant lazy fools and their offspring (god knows how many innocent lives they will unintentionally bring into this world) live with them for long.
My poor mother is right this minute trying to have my call my sister and calm her down because she is in her room crying. Its tearing my mom apart to hear her cry and know she caused it.
I want to not call my sister. I want to kill my sister.
I hate her for what she puts my mother through and I hate her for bringing a baby into this world with someone just as lazy and retarded as she is. I hate her.

The Croc Hunter

In case you havent heard, he's gone.
I dont know, I wasnt that big of a fan.
I LOVED his accent and his bouncy fun way of doing EVERYTHING.
He was funny and exciting and did what he loved.
He left behind his loving wife and two beautiful babies.
We will never see him on Jay Leno scaring the hell out of him again. God this is just sad. It really makes you think, as all deaths do. I dont know.
Hug your babies today. You never know if they will have to remember you through other peoples eyes someday.

All Is Well

Got it yesterday. Why does it always seem when your period comes late, its heavier to make up for the few days you didnt have it?
Oh the cramps.
Gifts of midol and chocolate can be sent to the appropriate adress. thank you.

Stewie has just learned how to drink from a straw. Since he was about 2 months old, Hunny has been taking juice with straws and putting a little in his mouth for him. Hunny is a big juice drinker. Well today he just gave the cup to Stewie, he chewed the straw for a few, then got to sucking. He's been letting everything fall out of his mouth so far, but Im sure by the end of the day we will be able to get a sippy cup with a straw for him. Yay!!!
Cuz Im so desperately sick of trying to tip his sippy cups for him, he just doesnt get it.

He Sat Up

Granted, he was lying face down, on top of one of his legs, so that made it easier. I'll probably never see him do it again for a while though so Im very excited! Its funny. I was recording him for a good half hour this afternoon. Ten minutes after I turn off the cam corder, the little sucker sits up.
Oh yeah, still no damn period.
Ive been getting cramps at least once a day, but I mean I got them when I was pregnant too. So Im all very muchly disturbed at the moment.
Hunny says not to worry until theres something to worry about. Hunny isnt the one waiting for blood to come rushing out of his uterus.
I think I might have a UTI which could probably cause my period to be late right? Sure, its possible. Im grasping at straws people.
I know I know Im only a few days late. But last time I said that.. well you know. UGH
Its just that I Never Ever got heart burn ever in my life until I got preggers with Stewie. And I been getting it alot lately. And I promise I will get my period tomorrow.