6am Fresh New Music

Ok now since when does U2 let idiots ruin their best songs???
Why did they let Mary J Blidge do a horrendous version of One?
And the biggest question here is, Why the hell did they actively participate in the destruction of the song right along with her?
What is this world coming to?

No doctors were open today. I called and had the "on-call" doc call me back. I said i have a throbbing ear infection. He says he cant prescribe anything over the phone. (no shit) He says go to the emergency room. I say I owe them a million dollars. He says to go to the doc tomorrow then.
You would think that maybe he would offer to see me since the amount of pain in my voice was catastrophic.
Hunny says that of course he wouldnt see you. He's enjoying the day off. I guess I have too much faith in the human race sometimes.
So since this morning, which by the way I havent slept yet, not only has the pain gotten worse, but the whole left side of my face is so stiff that I cant close my mouth all the way. I cant talk good. I cant chew at all. No licking my lips without screaming in pain. Also my ear is swollen a bunch bigger than my right ear.
This is nuts. I hope I can sleep tonight. Cause if I dont, theres a good chance I'll leave the baby in the parking lot or something.

omg

Its 4:30am
Do you know the last time I was online at this time? Waaaay before I had a baby thats for sure. I am in so much pain right now. I just took two tylenol 3's.
You know it wouldnt be so bad if the doctors were open but its memorial day. Plus I cant go to the er because I dont have insurance, and I owe them over 3 grand from when I dislocated my knee two months ago. Good times.

Ouch

So I've got an ear infection.
Yeah, thats right. I have a six month old, and I'm the one who gets the first ear infection.
Its my own fault though. I just know I caused it. Lately my inner ear area has been itchy, so I shove a q-tip way deep in there and itch itch itch away til it hurts. What? Are you crazy? Well yeah but look at it this way, when you have a bug bite and it itches like crazy, isnt it an orgasmic releif while your scratching it? And then it hurts like a bitch when you're done right?
Well then, stop JUDGING me!
Stewie was a big fat butt today. I know its because he takes little 15 minute cat naps and refuses to eat a whole bottle at one time. It just makes him bitchy.
And the only way he used to sleep for a few hours at a time, was on my chest. But he's got the gas so bad that being on his stomach like that makes him yell out in pain. So the only way he nods off is in the swing. I dont know how Im going to get him out of that. I mean pretty soon hes not going to fit in there and then what?

Stewie Griffen

Stewie: "Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb."

Does it ever seem like your little one is plotting your death in a british accent all day long?
Well last night was a trip. Got him to bed at probably 7pm (not quite sure... all my days minutes hours run together these days) he was up promptly at 11:30pm for a feeding. Which normally I would be greatful to get him fed and back to bed at that time. But it just so happens I decided to turn in early and had just fallen asleep 10 minutes prior... Then promptly at 2:30am, Mr. Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed decided not only was he hungry, but he was happy and we all deserved to hear his speech. His loud speech.
~mmmm aaah! gurgle gurgle... ah bu! heeeeyaaaaa. Aaahhh. ooooooooooohhhhh~
with a little slurp slurp here and there due to the fist that was shoved into his "starving" mouth.
And I guess I really didnt need to sleep this morning either. I mean with the need for my 6 month old to eat at 5:30 and all.
what the hell is wrong with him
he hates me
he is baby stewie
(if you never watched Family Guy, Im sorry. But the little baby on there, well thats my son. You can just see it in his eyes. He's cussing at me in a thick english accent.)
But its ok. You see, Stewie came from me, and well, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree my friend.

Uneventful Day

Very uneventful. Nothing much happened. Tomorrow Im going to JCPenny's to pick up Stewie's pictures. Here's one of him in his new excersaucer 2 weeks ago.
Point that thing at me again, Mother, and I shall kill you.

EEK! A MOUSE!

You know, even the toughest man becomes a little girl when something scares the shit outta him.
Here's the convo:
him: Hey theres no hot water
me: Ok check the water heater
him: OH MY GOD
me: what what what??!!!
(door slams, dog runs passed me looking scared)
me: (at the door) Hunny are you ok? Is it leaking???
him: (opening door) i saw a mouse
me: OH MY GOD you friggen girl! I thought the house was gonna fuckin explode!!!

Please GOD Let This be a Trend

With all the excitement on saturday, my baby went promptly to bed at 7pm.
I didnt wake him up for his 11pm feeding because I didnt mind if he got me up at 2 or not because he was so warn out. Much to my surprise, a stretching, farting, cooing baby woke me up at 6am sunday morning. Thats 11 whole hours. Thats a record. Thats amazing!

Last night was just a little different. We slept from 7pm til 2am. I tried the old swaddle and lay back down trick. ~no mommy, im hungry damnit~ We had about 6 ounces and went back to sleep. But that wasnt enough. He woke up "starving" again at 6am.
Still though, for not getting him fed at 11pm hes doing good.

Stewie has this fasination with trying to sit up, no matter what position he is in at the time. Only he cant raise anything but his head, so it turns all red and he grunts.
Its funny when hes sitting in his swing, he will move his head as far forward as he can and look around at the floor. I have to push him back before he falls forward. Same for when Im feeding him and I have him in my arms. He kind of bends himself in half. The only thing that sucks about this, is it makes his gas soooooooooooo bad. And we all know, when Stewie farts, Stewie gets pissed. Blah.

Anyway, to the few new mommies who have joined my strange little blog, Hi, and Thanks! I will try to put my life in the most entertaining terms possible. Also I have no idea how to do anything on blogs, thats why my site isnt high tech. If anyone is really good, feel free to leave tips.
Medium Season finale is tonight. It looks pretty friggen interesting. So if you are reading this between 10 and 11pm, shame on you!

Social Phobes Dont Do Birthdays

We took Stewie to his first party today. He did so good.
I on the other hand, didnt.
See I only knew the Mom and baby. And when you dont know people, its hard to really tell what kind of people they are.
I have this problem where if someone looks like they've got more money than I do (which is just about everybody) then I really really feel like an idiot around them. I tense up, sweat, and cant really function.
Everyone at the party was beautiful and preppy.
Its safe to say that I was the only one who drove up in a 1987 nissan stanza...
Mostly everyone was nice, but I just cant deal in situations like that.
So me and my hunny and Stewie kinda kept away from everyone else. I know he gets sick of not interacting with people because of me. But no amount of therapy or drugs has helped me yet.
I just want to never leave the house again after days like this.

I Hear Enough Crying as it is...

I am not a "cry-it-out" mom.
Lets not say that I couldnt let my son cry-it-out. Come on now. Ive got enough ice water running thru my veins towork a coolata machine.
I just lay there at night, while hes in his crib kicking into the air and sucking his hands (thumbs obviously arent big enough) and cooing and gurgling. The crib is right next to my bed. I cant sleep any other way...shut up i will not sleep on a matress on the floor when we move him into his room next week... So I lay there and let him "play-it-out" And when he starts getting fussy, I stick the paci in his mouth and shhhsssh him to sleep.
I guess its just that there is so little time left of this part of our lives. I dont want to listen to him cry if I dont have to. In a short while, instead of crying-it-out, he will be screaming, biting, spitting, whining "i hate you" it out. So I will just enjoy our little nightly ritual as is.
So Im not a Ferber Mom. (im a gerber mom! {roll your eyes here}) Im not a perfect mom. Im not a hippy mom or a working mom or a cooking cleaning sewing mom.
Im Baby Stewie's mom, and he likes me, so I must be doing something right.

Nap-Free Baby

So we dont like naps anymore... who cares. Mommy doesnt need em. And so what if Stewie likes to wake up TWICE a night now. Its ok.
Everything is healing up nicely.
We go to the doc tomorrow to make sure.
Our regular pediatrician doesnt seem to understand anything. I called today saying Stewie is very late for his 4 month shots, considering hes 6 months old. I said it would be great if we could get him in sooner than his june 4th appointment. Hes very constipated and juice isnt helping.
I get a call back: the doctor says to give him warm prune juice. your next appointment is june4. have a nice day.
My ASS!!!!! I hate these people. If we had regular insurance I would sssooooooooo get him a better doctor.

teething

Its been a long day. Stewie has to be teething. I cant think of another reason why hes so friggen cranky. He's never just had a total screaming fit so many times in one day. I almost went nuts. And of coarse when Hunny came home, he decided to mow the lawn. For 2 hours.
I had the crank butt bathed, fed, and in bed. But he didnt want to be in bed. So daddy got him for a few minutes and he was a little angel... I know he hadnt seen his daddy all day.. but geeeeeeeeeeez.
I am just so burnt out. We've got an eye doc appointment in the morning. I hope the child doesnt have to wear those patches anymore. Not that Ive really been keeping up. I mean hes so cranky. Plus that surgery.
I love ebay. Got him 7 pairs of pjs for $7. Cant beat that. I hope they get here soon. Poor kid has outgrown every single pair with feet. We even cut them out of on pair. And I swore I would always get him more instead of doing that. But that was before I was a tired poor mommy.

My Day

Thats right. My day..... mine mine mine mine mine.
My Hunny got me the sweetest card and sweetest gift. It was something Id never think to ask for. Some massaging slippers. After 4 years he's still learning, but he's getting better.

Stewie had another good day considering. Again he didnt want to nap all day so he was a little grump, but he was good at his grandparents house. Fell asleep around 5 in the swing. So we got him up at 7, fed him, and he went back to bed. Im about to wake him up now for his 11pm bottle. Hopefully with all the sleep he got, he will let me sleep til at least 5. But thats wishful thinking.
I love that show on HBO Big Love. If you want to know what a dork I am, I am just like Margene. I would totally wash crayon out of the dryer with goo be gone. And it totally wouldnt click that its flammable. I am her. Except I dont exactly have a husband and 2 wives...

So we have well water right. Well our well tank thingie decided to get a big hole in it. We woke up on my day to a large pool of water to one side of the house, and a gueiser spirting up. So you would say call the landlord right? Well we dont have his home phone. Only the buisness one. So until tomorrow we've had to keep shutting the water on and off every time we needed to use it. Now when your kid only likes a certain bottle..... It kinda sucks when you cant wash it without making it a bigger chore than it already is..... and for someone as lazy as me.... getting off my ass and washing it is a feat.

Brave Little Mommy

Thats right. The operation was harder for me than Stewie. So???
I was totally fine when we got to the hospital. But the second that manly nurse grabbed my sleepy baby out of my arms and said "dont worry i will hold him while hes falling asleep" I wanted to swipe him away and run fast fast fast.
my baby not yours mine
It only took about 45 minutes. All I could think about in that waiting area was what could go wrong. I dont need to list the 5.8 million things that I thought of.
But all went well. My brave little soldier is all better. He never really acted much different. Except for the narcotic pain reliever he was on the first day.
I dont know how moms do it. Im telling you if it were up to me, he could look like Elephant Man, and I wouldnt let anyone operate on him. Hes my perfect baby and you dont need to be slicing him up. GRRRRR
Haaaaaaaaappy Mothers Day to all, and to all a goooooooooood night.

Strike

Im going on a computer strike for a few days. Not because I hate you. Because this computer likes to freeze every two seconds. Plus I think Im having a semi nervous breakdown. All this coffee and electricity and no sleep really doesnt mesh well with a cranky 5 month old.

Plus with the operation on thursday, I probably wont have a second to myself for a few. Its going to be tough. I havent really gotten into the specifics on here. Only because its such a personal thing to be wrong with my son. Lets just say that its not life threatening, just a cosmetic type issue.

Anyway, Im going to make a few emails and be on my way to bed. Hopefully I will be back soon and less irratated with everything.

manic monday

So much to do today. Errends to run. Videos to return. Yes so much to do. I think I'll do it all tomorrow.
We have an appointment to get some pictures done at JCPenny's tonight. The talked us into getting a family one.. but I really only want one of Stewie. We can do family stuff anytime. He's only gummy once...well I wont be around next time he's flappin his gums.. hopefully. So Im going to try and see if they will just let me do that instead of trying to talk us into it again. Its hard cuz Hunny and I are both big pushovers.
Stewie has got an operation on thursday. Aftercare is going to be a royal bitch. But more than that, they have to put him completely under. They are going to gas him, stick an iv in him, and also give him a local shot. And I cant be in there with him. This has to be the most nerve racking thing that happens to moms.
Hes sleeping right behind me right now... hes got one finger up his nose, and one in his mouth...ugh if i could sneek behind him and get the camera I would. But you will just have to imagine how friggen cute it is.

Ahhh the Joys of the Mall

Sometimes I miss having a job and buying anything I want.
Well Stewie and I had our first "almost" playdate today. We met a nice mommy and her daughter at the mall.
It was soooooo good to have another mom to hang out with for a little while. Its weird meeting new people and hearing new life experiances.. I havent made a new friend in so long, so its weird not to hear the same old stuff. I dont know.
So we had some mushed beef last night.... LOVED it! Didnt even tongue any of it out of the mouth. So my son is a carnivor like his daddy...
I think being at the mall has made him a wise ass. We get home and hes yelling "AH" and other things in jibberish. Hes not using words but hes really making his babbles have sylables now. Like "dodada" "ahhhhdadoo" and he even says dada when hes really excited he will shout it.

Gilmore Tuesday

Are these people trying to kill me?????????
If they want to keep me pissed until next season they are doing a GREAT job!
What the hell. If Lorelai sleeps with Christopher out of sheer dispair, I dont know what I'll do.
Yes this show is my life. No I dont have friends. Leave me alone.

Stewie hates hates hates being held like Im about to feed him. I always thought it was because he just hates drinking his bottles. But the way he screamed today its like hes got neck or back pain from it??? I know I worry so much Im probably making the kid sick. Its just the only thing that makes me happy is holding him like that, all close to me. I didnt breastfeed and thats the worst decision I have ever made in my life.
Now I think I may need to rant about that. I didnt think I would like being a mommy. I hate hate hate kids. I really planned on his father being more of everything to him. I even said dont be surprised if I leave you guys in the future. I really had myself and everyone else convinced that I really didnt want to be tied down with a kid for the next 18 years. I felt it was the end.
So you can imagine how I felt about breastfeeding. Maybe I thought it would make me way to close to him. Maybe I just didnt want to have to be close. Anyway I just didnt want to.
All those dumb as hell things people say about motherhood changes you, you never realize you could love someone that much~ Well I would roll my eyes when people told me that. And god forbid someone took their little kid out in public. I would loudly go on about how annoying and rude it was. Yes I was that woman.
But its all true. Everything they say and everything you feel, its all true when you become a mom. Ten times more true. A hundred.
So now that its too late. Now that he hates being held that close. Its all I ever think about. And I wonder sometimes about my next baby. Will I breastfeed her because I missed out with him? I kind of dont want to. I mean he is my first baby. The first love of my life. If I breastfeed the next one its like I am cheapening what I share with Stewie. What do I say when he grows up and wonders if he was bottle or breastfed. You werent but your totally awesome wonderful perfect little sister was??????????????????????
Oh my god I am in rare form tonight. Anyway we have to watch a friends dog this weekend. And that was all fine and dandy. But she called tonight, (during Gilmore Girls mind you) and asked if we could watch her 15 year old daughter too. And well why the hell would my lovely hunny say anything but yes? Why the hell would he say I have to ask Jen first? Why the hell wouldnt he say what happened to the grandma she was going to stay with? did she die? does this child not have friends? not have a FATHER? YES SHE DOES she just wants to stay here and bug me and touch my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am really fit to back hand him if he touches me at all tonight. If he tries to kiss me goodnight Ill probably bite off his nose.