Aint It Funny

How a night out drinking can cause three girls who barely knew eachother to become lifelong friends? Why do they have to live in Indiana??????

A Social Phobe's Adventures in New Mommyhood: The Flirt Mode

well i sent this pic and a few others to the talent agency. wish us luck. but with that face im sure we dont need any! Im not being vain at all either. I mean if I didnt give birth to him myself Id wonder if he was my baby! Hes way too pretty! A Social Phobe's Adventures in New Mommyhood: The Flirt Mode

Oh Family...

We had Hunny's fam reunion today. And if you know me, well it was pretty scary. I spent most of the time outside with a few select members to chat with. Its so much easier for me to get out of the shell in front of 3 people than with a whole huge reunion of people.
I thought having Stewie would have made me be more sociable, I mean I have to talk to people when they ask questions about him, but Its still so hard and I mostly just answer with one or two words and quietly walk away when they stop talking to the baby....
Well for the first time since Stewie graced us with his presence, we are going out. Since a few members of the fam from up north came down we are going to go out and have hopefully enough drinks to where I dont worry about the baby. Hunnys sister will be watching him and her granddaughter while we all go out. Im letting him sleep right now as long as he needs to, cuz I know he wont be able to sleep much once he gets with the other baby and his auntie.
Well I hope I have fun.
If I dont write tomorrow, its cuz I had too much fun and now Im paying the price AND taking care of Stewie.....

Funny Dogs

I read a bunch of blogs. Mostly blogs about mommies with babies.
It always amazes me how come babies Stewie's age do things so much faster. Yeah he was a month early, but even if he was only 7 months old right now, he'd still be a little behind.
Now what happened today might seem a little strange to you. Your bundle of joy might have done something like this in the 5th month. But my Stewie did it at 8 months and Im just so excited.
He was in his bouncy, which he hates sitting back in, and always tries to sit up and ends up falling out, the tv was on and i was trying to feed him a bottle while watching Days Of Our Lives. Because I multitask like that.
Well on 2 different commercials, at two different times during the hour, there was a dog. One was a big dog, and one a small dog.
Each time, Stewie looked at the dog and started giggling.
He does that with our dogs. Theres nothing they dont do that he doesnt find totally hilarious. (Yes even the x-rated things they do lately)
So when he sees a dog on tv, and knows what it is, and it connects in his head that dog=funny, I dunno it was kinda awesome to see that.

A Social Phobe's Adventures in New Mommyhood: Where I'm From

A Social Phobe's Adventures in New Mommyhood: Where I'm From

A dog in heat...

Will do anything to get some.
I dont have much to say about mommy-dum today, but Ive got a story for ya. Sorry no pics, I was laughing too much to think.
My female chiuahua has been a humper since she was probably 2 months old. One night I was sitting on the couch with her, and she got on my arm. I thought how cute, shes gonna wrestle me.
HAH
This little dog started humping the hell outta my poor arm, who by the way was a virgin until this malicious rape incedent.
I started screaming for hunny. I said "its a boy! this dog is a boy! his penis must be hidden!!!!"
But, no penis was ever found.
After that, she took to humping Hunny only. And only his arm. He would shake her off but sometimes he just had to give in so she would stop bugging him. Hed go get a certain green flannel shirt so she wouldnt claw out any arteries.
Everytime she saw him come out of the bedroom wearing that shirt, she'd hop on the couch and start jumping and panting. Sometimes she'd "hop on" before he even got to sit down.
Then at a certain point, I think after she started getting too fat, she was no longer satisfied with the arm. She started mounting feet. Which was more convenient for Hunny at least.
And after a while, it was anybody's feet. Someone she'd never seen could come over and sit down, and shed mount happily.
Now this is not only when shes in heat. She usually just humps for sport.
But after she gets her period, shes very very very horny. She even humps me. Usually she prefers the more masculine thicker leg...
Well the past few days, shes been trying to tempt our pitbull mix. Hes a big baby whos been fixed for years. Hes not used to her jumping at his face and sticking her butt in his face. He will growl and jump up and run to another room.
Today he was lying behind me in the computer room. Gwynnie trots in and starts scratching at his face. Well he was too worn out to get up and run so he just layed there. Gwynnie took it as a "green light" and started humping his pooor head. He even let her do it for about 5 minutes before hes like damnit woman get off me.
Its not easy being a little chick in heat. But its also not easy being a fixed doggy and having this little dog humping you and trying to intice you into humping her. I mean he probably doesnt even know what the hell she wants him to do. Poor thing.

The Flirt Mode

Stewie has decided, when we are in public, he must be a perfect angel and giggle and smile around any woman.
At my appointment today, a lady said "Oh he must be a good baby all the time!" Im like yeah of course he is....
I swear its like as soon as we are alone, chuckie comes out to play!!!
I mean there are those moments that he will laugh and smile at me and do that clicking sound with his tongue, so then I will too. Those are the moments I live for. And when we dance to his song before bed, its like I dont even remember how horrible he was that day. I know I know thats how all mommies feel. Its just weird to me how I could get so upset at someone and want to throw them out the window, and then just melt completely when they smile.... Ok I have felt that way about his daddy....
Anyways, because of my little flirt, in the past two days we've gotten these comments: "Oh now look at you! You deserve to be in commercials!" and "Well shouldnt he be the next Gerber Baby!"
I am seriously thinking about sending some of his pictures with them big blue eyes to a talent agency. I mean if total strangers who would normally stick up their noses at me, stop and tell me how friggen adorable this kid is, who knows.
Well they changed my meds today. Ive tried just about every antidepressant in the world, so they put me on this new stuff called cymbalta... wish me luck!

Today was exhausting.
I use the words "burnt out" alot. Too much. But tonight I mean it.
Maybe its the fact that the sun turns our little mobile home into an oven everyday. You know it got to like 96 degrees here today. Two more degrees and I'd have to make fun of Nick Lache just for the hell of it.
Stewie really didnt want to nap at all. He took his morning hour long nap, and was up at 9am. But he didnt seem rested at all. So at 12pm I tried to put him down and for an hour I was back and forth trying to get him to sleep and trying to clean and just trying to sit down.
He was like that all day. Sleep a little, then be awake and tired and grumpy.
Its really starting to piss me off that when I put him down, he will scream and not take the paci. And he stiffens up his whole body and just lays there and screams. Then he will curl up his legs and try and hold them to his chest. (this is when he will briefly take the paci in his mouth) But he gets mad, slams his legs down and spits out the paci to start screaming again. He does this like 50 times before falling asleep.
I got bit by a little black flying ant, on my asscheek today. I never thought the black ones bit. THEY DO and it hurts and stings just as much as a red one, so dont be fooled.
Im sorry this is just complain complain.
Actually no, Im not. I dont force anyone to read this. oh my god hes up again.

So it finally happened....

I have been maliciously tagged for a MeMe....
When I tag YOU, you may blame Meg
Im just kidding Im sure this will be fun....

Here goes...

Five things in my closet:

1. Clothes that I hate, but wear, because I dont have the money to get ones I hate less.
2. My dresser that I've had my whole life and I will never ever get rid of. Although someday I hope to refinish it so I dont see all the cheesy crap my sis and I wrote on the back and sides when we were little.
3. Winter clothes in a big tupperwear thingie.
4. Hunny's halfway decient t-shirts.
5. Tons of shoes Im too lazy to wear. ( I think I've only worn the flip flops I bought when I was pregnant last summer since it got warm out)

Five things in my fridge:

1. Old sandwhich meat I need to think about throwing out.
2. PEPSI
3. All Hunny's different weird flavors of juice.
4. Stewies leftover baby food that probably needs to be thrown out.
5. A bunch of beers and wine coolers that are way old. And some Smirnoffs (sp) I recently bought but have forgotten to drink.

Five things in my car:

1. Ummm carseat.
2. Extra bag of clothes, diapers, toys.
3. Pic of Stewie (in case someday hes NOT in the backseat while Im driving.)
4. Minnie Mouse necklace/watch thingie hanging from the mirror.
5. Annoying old scent freshener thingies in both side pockets of the doors that roll around and scare me constantly when they bang. I really need to think about throwing them out.

Five things in my purse:

1. My purse doubles as a diaper bag, so diapers.
2. Extra kid outfits.
3. A bunch of different lip glosses and chapsticks that I forget to use.
4. Pens. Always need a pen.
5. I guess my wallet with my license is very important huh?

OK ding dongs get ready. Im going to randomly select and innocent member of my blogroll.

:::::drumroll please:::::

Kell :) Pink Champagne, You have been tagged!!

Careful What You Wish For

If you keep complaining that you're fat, then the powers-that-be will strike you.
Today was Stewie's eye checkup.....
I had to park on the upper level because I have no power stearing and I cant park anyways so I need to be away from cars.
So I park, (crooked and in two spaces....) drag out the stroller, get my kid in there, get all my stuff orginized, and push us to the elevator. I push the button, nothing happens, I hear some guys yelling to eachother from inside, I look and realize that the van parked in front of this area says "elevator maitenance" OKgreat. So I hike around the parking garage and try not to run myself over pushing the damn stroller down the damn hill.
We get to the office and check in, where the receptionist kindly tells me that my appointment was yesterday, but if I want, I can sit and wait two hours for the doc to be free. I kindly made another appointment and left.
And pushed the stroller up the hill, around the garage and to my car.
Then I was tempted to just go home but I knew I must go on and finish my errands. To the post office we go.
So people who work at the post office are very self absorbed. There was a line, and two chicks were working. Well one of them decided she didnt feel like calling the next person in line just yet. No she wanted to like put stamps on 50 things and like i dont know, look at her nails.
Luckily I didnt get her. But the one I did get pissed me off. The lady in front of me got a book of stamps. The chick at the counter showed her a choice of like 3 books, and the woman pointed at the ones she liked. So I go up and say in my cheery fake voice "i just need a book of stamps please" The bitch slaps the first book on the counter and asks me if I want a receipt.
Now Im sure shes had a rough day, and just didnt like me. But I dont like people in general and she just enforced one of the reasons why.
The day wasnt a total bust. I decided to walk the baby down to wear I used to work (in the same shopping center as post office) and get some coffee. I chatted with an old friend for a while and fed the baby.
Wow my arms hurt from driving without power stearing. ok is it stearing or steering????? OOOOOOOOOOOh Im tired.
Stewie took his first EVER two hour nap and I actually had to wake him up at 4:30 so he would go to bed tonight. But I think he thought he was going down for the night and thats why he didnt wake up a half hour later.... boy That was a long blog.... Seacrest OUT

Where I'm From

I saw this in a post a while ago. Im sorry I dont remember who since i began this post 2 weeks ago and forgot about it until now. If you have posted a "where Im from" i probably got it from you and i will make a note of it in my next post. This was fun, and kind of irritating. You would have to read the directions to know what to put where. Id be really thankful for someone to point out where they came from because i honestly dont remember. (Mommy brain) here goes:

I am from an old rusty swingset, from grape KoolAid and secret recipe pancakes.
I am from the _last house on the right, with the scary old lady across the street with 50 cats. And the smell of the woods.
I am from the strawberries along the fence in the side yard.
I am from 4 leaf clover hunting and moley skin. from nana and papa charest.
I am from the anxiety ridden and thrift store shopping.
From dont swear when daddy's home, and dont pick on your sister.
I am from catholic masses, and one day of episcapal sunday school.
I'm from massachusetts churchills, steamed clams, and corn on the cob.
From the cousin who stole cars, then found god, the "possed" giggling sarah, and the nana who told me the sandman was watching.
I am from the "riverside" photo album, and all the pictures with nana's thumb in them, and the school reports on a 5th great uncle who won the purple heart from George Washington himself.

OK

Is anyone else staying up way passed their bedtime to watch that VH1 pop culture competition??? I absolutely love it. I mean anything pop culture, I totally know. Yes because I have no life...
So how did my interview go today?
Well I got in there and she was interviewing someone else. So I waited and eavesdropped. Well this chick and her got along just swimmingly. They chatted and laughed and she told her about the training and everything. I must have been there 20 minutes before the girl left. So I sit down and she looks me over and basically tells me how the job is for less people than she thought and she just wanted to meet us all today and decide in a day or two. Then she says if I've got no other questions, then she will call me, or not, depending if shes in another state and just forgot... oh yeah she said that.
I dont dress shitty. I mean I dont try to. I cant afford awesome clothes, but I do good at the thrift stores. So maybe I should have been wearing makeup? I dont know. I try so hard to be outgoing during interviews. I guess I just come across as a nerdy poor shy person??? uuuuuuuugggghhh. That would have been the perfect job too. Blah
When I was feeding Stewie his last bottle tonight, I had the hiccups. And I didnt think it was all that funny. Nobody likes having the hiccups. But everytime I did it, Stewie would spit out the nipple and crack up choking laughing. I mean so hard his face turned red! I'd be like ooooooooh mommy funny huh??? ok ok take your ba ba. Hiccup extreme laughter erupts again. It was a looooooooooooong feeding. But it was cute.
It didnt take him long to fall asleep tonight. He's so tired at night because of his shit naps during the day.

myspace

I have always been against myspace Just mainly cuz the first time I ever heard of it, was on like Dateline or something. They were doing a story on child molesters finding prey on myspace.
So I never made one until today when my sister forced me to. Ok no gun to the head, but you know.
Its kinda funky how you can make the layout and stuff. Just like blogger I guess. I will never link the 2 just because I dont want people to read this and be offended, and I dont want people who do read this (not moms, just weirdos) YES IM PARANOYED, to find out stuff about me through that and come rape me and steal my son to sell him on the black market. I mean come on now, what rich non-fertile couple isnt out there searching for a white blond haired blue eyed baby???????? lmao sounds horrible. Im tired shut up.

why

Why does my son insist on taking the shortest naps during the day?
And I cant go right no matter if I put him to bed when he starts getting tired, or after he's been tired for a while. Either way he will lay there and scream. Its like he knows its daytime, "so why the fuck am i in here?" But the little sucker will fall asleep on me. Which is something I love and I prayed for during the gassy times when he couldnt lay on his belly. But he needs to learn to nap in the crib, and nap longer than a half hour.
He is just so cranky and overtired all the time. Which makes me cranky and overtired. And I have nothing to do but complain to cyberspace.
Oh and heres some advice. If you think it will be fun to go down a slide at the park, with your kid on your lap, "oh he will love this! first time on a slide" look down at your legs. If your shorts are higher than mid thigh, you might want to rethink the whole slide thing. Ive got the most painful "slide burn" right under my ass.
I hope you gain wisdom from my mistakes. Now go forth, and mother your young.

A Day at the Park

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It was our first time in a swing!!!!!

We had a playdate with a friend and her daughter. Stewie just absolutely loves these people. Hes such a flirt.

Also new on the front, I have an interview on Tuesday. Actually Im basically hired. We've talked salary, and hours, and location, training... you know.

Its for a certain brand of pet food. I'll go to a nearby petstore and have a little booth or something and tell people which type of our brand is good for their dog. Did I mention its a weekends only job??? Oh yeah....So no babysitters needed my friends. How's them apples???????

Invasion of the Pod People

Oh thats right, we've been invaded.
I woke up this morning to find an imposter posing as Stewie.
This kid took 2 one hour naps and 1 two hour nap today.
He drank almost all of every bottle.
He ate his lunch and most of his dinner.
Oh yeah, by the way, HE ROLLED OVER

Yeah he did.

I had him on the boppy, on his tummy.
He was looking around and doing some major push-ups.
Im like hey now, I bet if I took the boppy away, you could try and crawl.
So I slowly pulled it out from under him.
He layed there for a minute. Did some more push-ups. Then rolled right onto his back.
This is not my child.

Ohhhh I made this new really good salad today. Italian tortellini salad.
I used all the ingredients too. Usually I dont use the veggies in recipies. But I had never tried artichoke hearts or sundried tomatoes before. Anyway this stuff is really tolerable. God, Im eating like a grown up......

No.... More....Cleaning....

I have the worst headache right now.
We had to leave for wic about 8:15 this morning. And if you've ever been poor, you know it takes FOREVER at wic.
Then I had to go to unemployment and get a W6 so my doctor would believe Im poor and let me get birth control.
Then I had to get formula at the grocery store.
Amazingly, Stewie didnt have not one single fit the whole time.
When we got home, I layed him down for a nap, (and he actually napped) and I cleaned the kitchen. Then when Hunny came home, I did some re-arranging of the baby's room. Since he sleeps in there now..... ~sniff, sniff~
It took me forever to fall asleep again last night. Its just so weird laying there and wondering if Stewie is ok. What position is he sleeping in? Did I just hear him gasp? Is he still breathing????

uuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Being Mommy Hard

Hello,
You have been invited to visit a photo album http://s67.photobucket.com/albums/h284/jenbroni82/clothes/

just click on slideshow...
ill be adding more throughout the week. probably other stuff besides clothes too.

sucess

Well tonight I put Stewie down in his crib. And yes he's been sleeping in it for about an hour now.
Last night he slept in his own room until 3am when he always wakes up and wants to sleep with us.
Im thinking the crib has to be more comfortable than that pack-n-play. Maybe he will stay in there longer. But if he still needs me at 3am I will get him.
I didnt get any sleep last night. I kept just staring at the monitor. And at one point, when I didnt hear him breathing, I got up and went in there just to make sure. Its so much easier keeping your child alive when they are sleeping in your room damnit.

I cleaned my nasty bathroom today. Hunny says if I cleaned it more often it wouldnt get so nasty. I said if HE cleaned it more often I wouldnt have to complain. But I guess my side of the argument doesnt exactly hold up, since we've got seperate bathrooms.
Anyways, I have a bunch of real decent clothes Im going to put on photobucket and if anyone is interested, I'll put the link here soon. I will be very reasonable on prices and shipping. Its just that Im so poor and its impossible finding a job that will let you ONLY work weekends.

His Own Room

Tonight we put the pack-n-play in Stewie's room.
Its right next to the crib he has yet to sleep in.
I can not believe how fast he went to sleep for me tonight.
He was either really tired, or he's relieved to be in his own room.
In fact. He will probably fuss tomorrow night when I put him in there.
Theres no way he's that ready to be away from me at night.
Hunny is happy he gets to watch tv in the bedroom now at night.
I dont know, I think Im kinda depressed about the whole situation...