ugh

Well for a while now, the power stearing stuff has been leaking. It got to the point that before I could go anywhere Hunny had to fill it. Well now the hole is so big that it wont hold any at all. I have to get a wic perscription tomorrow and I have an appointment at wic monday. See now I will probably have to get his dear daddy to take me and everything will work out. But I love him to death and everything, but I just hate being alone with anyone in his family. I love them and they love me. But like you know, I've got social anxiety to a T. At family dinners, I sit in the same spot the whole time we are there and dont talk unless Im spoken to. I feel like a complete idiot.
So when his dad has to take me anywhere I just feel horrible.

Ive got some wicked insomnia lately too. Cant fall asleep for hours. I play a game on here and get real tired, then I go to bed and nothing. I even tried taking 3 tylenol pm's. They used to work so good for me. Now they just give me restless legs. Im so friggen TIRED. I have started trying to meditate. I got that meditaion for dummies book from the library. I dont have the hang of it at all yet, but its not helping at all yet either. Its supposed to make you less high strung and make you sleep better.................. blaaaaah to everything right now.
My little Stewie is good. Still hasnt cut a tooth. The little shit wont chew on his damn "chew toys" either. The only thing that makes his gums feel better is human flesh. Thats right. Either our arms or fingers or faces, hes grabbin for em and hes tryin to shove them in his mouth. I guess his fingers just arent as yummy? Oh but he will eat freeze pops when I hold them. SHHHH dont give your baby freeze pops. Bad for them. Stewie isnt normal. I HAVE to give him freeze pops.

Stewie

hmm now i can pretend i am teething whenever i feel that vile woman needs punishing

So Yeah...

I dont know. He seems to have had some relapse from "teething world"
For the past like 3 days hes been fine... I think little Stewie is trying to psyche me out. Little sucker.
I got my mei tai in the mail yesterday. From a very nice lady online. She gave it to me shipped for $25. That is an amazing price. And its soooo beautiful. I will have to post a pic of us using it. Its so much more comfortable than that friggen maya pouch sling I had. That thing pissed both Stewie and me off... friggen $58 shipped. Lick me. Im going to stick with wraps and mei tais from now on... Used of course. Brand new those things cost more than what I would charge for sexual favors!!!!!! shhhhh

Motrin, sent from heaven?

Ok either Motrin is a miracle drug, or my kid decided to stop teething just for the day.
He was still not wanting to eat of the spoon, and he still kept whining and shoving everything in his mouth, but I dont know. It was so much less today. And he just went to bed real good for me.... even though he was exausted because he hates naps when daddy is home.
I think from now on, Im just using tylenol for fevers. I think I just learned one of my first lessons in being Stewie's mom. sweet.

Giving Birth Was Nothing

...compaired to hunching over the baby's crib and holding him tight to my face while he wailed himself to sleep.
He wouldnt eat anything this evening. Didnt even want a bottle. I gave him some motrin and some teething pellet stuff and some orajel. The only thing I could to was try to get him to fall asleep so he wouldnt feel that pain anymore.
It was the first time he cried so hard that he did that hyperventilating breathing for like 3 minutes afterwards. I just wanted to cry along with him.
When other moms tell you how painful it will be for the both of you when your baby is in pain, you dont really understand. You just dont understand.

I would like to take a moment...

And ask that all... (what two of you) that read my blog, please check out one of my absolute favorite blogs... I should highlight one awesome blog a week or something.. but I have to have a bigger fanbase heheheheeee... ok so check out Autumn At Oak Hollow... which is in my blogroll. This blog is really worth checking out if you are a new mom. Or any mom...
And be nice to me cuz next week I could highlight.... YOU.... haha you could be a star!!!

Friday Night Party Time

We spent almost an hour (me and hunny) on the living room floor this evening, playing catch with a mini dog tennis ball. It started out to entice the dogs into playing with it... but then we were having more fun than they were. Needless to say it was actually the most fun Ive had in a while lol.
Stewie is teething. I got him those pellets and they seem to be working but it could just be a coincidence.
He has about got me at the end of my rope lately. Its just so stressful when hes screaming and mad all the time. And hes always been like this because of the gas but now its two fold.
Blaaaaaahggg.
Stop complaining already.
Hunny's got a new job. Starts Monday doing punch out work for a home building company. I dont know what that means but I know its so much better than the crappy job he had. And hes so happy to get rid of that boss of his. The jerk didnt even work with him or take him out to lunch or anything today. Some people... oooops Im complaining again.
End on a happy note. End on a happy note....
ummmm
I get to sleep in tomorrow while he gets the baby... yeah thats good enough for me.

My Baby

He just reached out for me. I went in there to check on him cuz he was whining himself to sleep. He looked up at me, dropped his lovey and reached out. He was either saying "come closer so i can strangle you woman" or "mama! pick me up" Either one is fine with me! He reached for meeeeeeeeeee :)

...

Today was a great day for Stewie. We ran our errands, and he didnt throw one single fit. Usually I dread taking him out. Especially with the cranky butt attitude hes had lately.

But not to worry, my insanely crabby son returned soon after we got home.
He did however play himself to sleep for his nap again. That was wonderful. Getting him to bed tonight didnt go quite as well, but I'm not complaining. I mean the kid is constantly in some kind of pain. So I kind of expect nights like these.
I can never tell lately what the hell is wrong with him. He will wake up screaming with his knees to his chest. So its gas? But his fists are both trying to get into his mouth. So hes teething? Or what if hes starving? He eats like a hog lately. So hes growing right?
See it just drives me crazy wondering what his problem is.
I guess it comes back to the old "first pancake" theory I have.
But I am no chef. And I dont know what the hell Im doing.....

Heh...

How cute is this kid?



He still cant roll over at 7 months.... but he can stand almost by himself like nothing!




We tried that zweiback toast yesterday. As you can see, it was a success.

Naptime Miracle

Yes thats right. Stewie actually "played himself to sleep" this afternoon. I went in there once when he got fussy to re-insert Paci, and he continued playing with his lovey. I left the room and the next thing I know hes sleeeeeeeeeping. This is huge for him. Im usually in and out of there ten times before I finally give in, and lay on the bed next to his crib until he falls asleep.

Well dont worry, this pod person who claims to be my son will be gone around 2am. Thats when Stewie will be Stewie once more, and I will be crabby ass tired as hell mommy putting a baby in bed with her. Blaaaaaaaah.
But I wuvs my little man :)

Just us Three

Well my mom came and got my sister today. We all went to the thrift store for some girl time. I got some cute books for Stewie. One of them is a bunch of baby faces, like happy sad crying.... he really likes it. Got him an outfit with tags for just $6. Cant beat that.

Yawn

I am sooooo incredibly tired right now.
After Stewie went to bed (amazingly like an angel, who is this kid?) I actually put some pictures in frames we bought months ago. It took alot out of my lazy ass, let me tell you.
I have had the worst headache all day. Last night was a very gassy night for Stewie. He decided around 2 (after going to bed at 8) that he was not tired anymore and had horrible gas. I figured it was my fault. See WIC screwed up and gave me the wrong vouchers, and I thought well its not soy so why not just get some. Well dont use that enfamil enfacare unless you've got a preemie. By 5 I dragged my haggard ass out of bed and fed my son some regular soy formula. 8 OUNCES went down like nothing. Yeah they came UP like nothing too. I have never seen this kid puke so much in his little life. And it was the kind that stops for a sec and chokes you and then starts flowing again. Poor kid, I saw it pouring out his nose and everything. Baby's are so lucky that after they puke their brains out, they dont realize what just happened. He caught his breath, sniffled, coughed, then smiled and made the "more milk" face.
But we were both sopping wet so first I had to change us.
It was a looooong 4 hours before he finally felt like he needed a nap. I really need some help or advice about naps with him. Because I have no say in them lately.

Well I am still wishing that someday I can just say goodnight to my little man and off he will go to the bedroom in daddy's arms. I honestly need one night just one time that I dont have to put him to bed. I LOVE IT so much and I love him so much. But I dont know. Its kinda feeling like Im a bedtime slave. And not in the naughty naughty fun way either.
Tomorrow finally my sister leaves for moms house. Hey, I love the girl. I would love having her here helping with the baby forever. But its insane how sloppy she is. And mister anal is about to explode. He can only hold it in for so long before he starts literally cleaning up after someone. And rudely too lol.

Long Tired Day

Well today we had a wic appointment waaaaaay across town. And if you've ever been poor, you know how freaken long it takes waiting there. I went prepared and took bottles and even some mushed bananners for the boy. For the most part, he was a happy laughing baby amid about 40 or so screaming little brats. (i hate other peoples kids, Im sure you can relate)
Then we used the last little bit of change we had (literally quarters pennies dimes) to get some fries and soda at burger king to hold us over.
Wouldnt you know that it would give me the WORST case of heart burn Ive had since I was pregnant. So the very long drive home was not fun. Especially since Stewie was very over tired and not happy with any of his toys. And my sister just does not know how to keep him occupied to save her life. (I cant WAIT until she has that baby)
Well I am off to watch the Britney interview. And if ya dont like it, well in her words, "Ya'll can piss off"

sketti for supper

8 Ounces

Well my day went fairly stress free.
I think we are slowly starting to see some small twinkles of light coming from the very end of the tunnel that we have been traveling in for so long.
We decided to screw the soy formula and go to enfamil gentle ease. Its better for his constipation. Then Hunny tried giving Stewie a bottle with no rice. Well low and behold, he drank it just fine, in fact he wanted more. He drank 8 ounces. The kicker is, he drank it with a fast flow nipple. Without rice.
So I think ... ok I know I over reacted when I decided he had that choking-formula-aspirating-into-lungs problem. IM NEW AT THIS! So he doesnt have half the problems I think he does, and most of the ones he does have, I probably caused by trying to cure the fake ones.
But Ive said it before and I'll say it again: Stewie is the first pancake. Except we wont let the dog eat it or throw it in the trash. But the next one will be a little rounder.

Mommy Blues

Baby Stewie's new prescription made his tummy hurt so much worse.
It made him dizzy too. Every time we put him down on his back he would scream.
So today I didnt give him any. Maybe by tomorrow he will be his old cranky gassy self. Which isnt alot better.
I just dont know what to do anymore. He's always in so much pain. Especially during feedings. Somtimes I think its the way I am holding him. Because he cant lay on my chest anymore he screams and farts the whole time. So maybe its just laying in certain ways. I really just wish someone out there knew what to do for him.

My ear is better. The hearing is still a little screwie, but I dont feel like Im under water anymore.
Hunny threw out his back again. I think he likes to do it at least once a year. It sucks seeing my boys in pain and not being able to do anything.

Burnt Out

Its been a trying week. So excuse me if today, I feel a little stressed out.
Stewie didnt really nap at all.
For some reason tonight after I put him down, he woke up screaming. I tried feeding him, rocking him, swaddling him, cuddling him, nothing worked until he wore himself out. And whenever that happens I of course blame myself. I hate my kid crying and screaming himself to sleep. Thats not how it should be.
I think his tummy might have been upset. He didnt poop today. I know its because of that damn medicine thats SUPPOSED to be fixing all that gas. But if it in turn is making him constipated, I honestly dont know what to do.
I am at the end of my rope tonight.
Times like these, I really want to run away. He tells me to chill out and watch tv. I want to hit him with an axe.

NOW he gets a prescription???

After 6 months of gas so painful that my Stewie cant eat a whole bottle without a few freak-outs, today during his physical, the doc says maybe he could benefit from this prescription. MAYBE?
Oh I could go off right now but I am too worn out to rant.
I will say that Harris Teeter is a snobby assed grocery store. I went to get my wic because yes Im poor and my kid needs to eat sue me.
I get to the check out lady, she goes to get my formula, comes back and informs me (like im the idiot) that I need to go to the customer service desk for wic. As if the walk of shame wasnt bad enough, the lady decided she needed to push my cart over there herself. So here I am just following her with my head down. Then I wait there for 10 minutes while this guy waits on some other chick. And HE doesnt even know how to DO wic. So he calls another cashier over so that one can say come to HIS register and then HE pushes my cart.
Just friggen paint a sign on my shirt that says POOR MOM IN NEED OF WIC (treat me like shit please)

Family Ties...

Stewie met my father yesterday. He came down here from Massachusetts to bring my sister to my house... long story.
I never really thought much about having my son know his grandfather. Another long story. Its not because Im just a mean person.
Anyway, I guess it kinda was a good thing. Stewie deserves to know him. And the man he is now is someone who loves his grandson. I guess thats all that matters.

Man getting him to bed tonight was something. That boy will double over in pain with gas. I had to stop feeding him his bottle and try to lay him down. Then he started screaming. So I tried the bottle again. By then he was too tired to throw a fit about gas. It makes me feel so friggen helpless. I mean for real, how many different formulas and gas exercises and stupid drops can you try. Nothing works for this kid. And its not that I dont love it when I take him into bed with me around 3am every morning. But its getting kinda old. I have to hold his arms down so he doesnt smack himself while his legs go up in the air with gas. My back is killing me and I just havent slept in 2 days.
I cant swaddle his ass anymore. This boy is crazy fast. And strong. I just dont know if 6 months is a little too old for him to still not have any control over his arms when he is tired.

sorry

Its been a few I know.
I got my antibiotics yesterday.
Im still in pain when I open my mouth too much, or touch my ear by accident. But its not throbbing anymore. The pills did give me the runs which is awesome. Always need that with a baby.
Speakin of running to the toilet, Ive been running to the bedroom every 5 minutes since I put Stewie to bed. He just doesnt want to stay asleep. The first time I pleaded with his daddy to please just put him to bed. I know you worked all day but Im soooo done tonight. OK sounds easy enough.
But the baby wont stop screaming. Then he finally calms down. I sit down on the couch with the monitor. All of a sudden I hear him laughing. Daddy is playing with him and being loud. Not good with a tired baby. Ah then comes the laugh-turned-into-a-cry. My cue to jump on in there.
I say just gimme the kid. He says what can you do that i cant?
I say Im gonna put him to sleep. I take him and hold him sideways, let him finish his bottle and hes out for the count.
A few minutes ago, he got up again. I couldnt get him because I just put drops in my ear. But after a ton of shhhhshing daddy comes back and says hes up. hes not going back to sleep. hes up. ill make a bottle. I say dont need to do that. I went in there and gave him his paci and held his arms so he wouldnt smack himself and he went back to sleep.
I dont know what it is with men putting babies to bed but it just doesnt have a good outcome no matter how hard they try.
I think in our case, Stewie just looks at him as a toy. Oh the toy is here, time to play??